Sometimes, having a daily practice can be difficult. And when I say “difficult” I mean fucking hard. And on days like today, when I have the I-don’t-wannas getting in the way, I know it’s because I need my practice more than ever.
Things have been in flux in every area of my life, including my personal space. So it’s easy to look at my altar and think that it’s not exactly where I want it to be, it’s not set with the things I’ll need, there are clothes I left on the floor where I’d like to put my cushion. It’s easy to turn away and find some distraction to substitute for the calming effects of the breathing work, the centering effects of grounding practice, the deepening effects of sitting meditation. But, whatever I might find, they are poor substitutes. And they don’t last long.
And this morning, I felt that, in addition to the I-don’t-wannas, I just could face the sheer effort involved. Because let’s be honest – the physical and mental actions required of a daily practice are very simple and usually very easy, but the actual practice is anything but. What could be easier than placing a few things on a table? Or filling a glass of water? Or lighting a candle? How hard is it, really, to say a prayer? To sit still for a several minutes? To imagine a few lights and colors?
All of those things are easy, taken individually. But it’s the combination that is a challenge. Because when arranging things on a table is really setting an altar, you have to question what you want to bring to your life today. When pouring a glass of water is really a spell of internal cleansing and alchemy, you have to confront those things you’ve allowed to hold you back. And when lighting a candle is really inviting in the Gods…
But as I attempted to seek out hollow distractions, something in me was craving spiritual practice. I had a brief yet potent vision. It was a simple image, but one that means so much to me it could not be ignored. The image was a pentacle.
In my Elemental Tools class, I like to say that the pentacle asks us: “Where do you stand? Are you willing to start from here?”
The altar isn’t set. Can I set it? There are clothes on the floor. Can’t they be picked up? I just don’t want to practice. Can I bring that to my practice with me?
I can, and I will. Because the difficulty of practice, when it is difficult, makes choosing practice that much more powerful.
(And sometimes… practice is easy!)
Well said my sweet!
I stumbled upon this blog entry in my search for a simple pentacle image for a tattoo I’m planning…and I stayed to read the entry. I’m glad I did! I’ve been struggling with the “I don’t wanna” attitude for awhile now, so many projects and chores are piling up behind me they almost seem impossible to finish (or start, as the case may be). Thank you for putting into words the kick in the pants I needed for the mundane and the spiritual!
Thank you, Sara. I’m glad that you found something useful here.
You know, this is my most viewed post because of Google searches for “pentacle.” Haha. And it’s interesting to me that you read it when you did, because at that very moment I was engaged in a conversation about spiritual practice and finding ways to make it engaging with someone who has been struggling. Magic is funny like that.
Every day is a chance to recommit. Every day is a chance to let go of guilt for slacking off the day before.
Blessings,
Jonah
Well said my friend. I crave spirituality but often struggle with finding the time and ambition to practice and I am often angry with myself for it. I feel selfish for not devoting a small portion of my time to the Lord and Lady. I know that the Lord and Lady love me anyway, though, and I feel that they guided me to this blog (as silly as that way sound to some). Thank you for lifting the guilt from my heart. I feel so wonderful to know that there are other’s who stuggle with the same problem as me. I will try the methods you mentioned and I will try to have the mentality you described. Thank you.
In love an light, Robert
This is totally unrealated but I wanted to post another comment with the “Notify me of new posts via email” option checked so that I could continue to be a part of this conversation so without further ado, here is a random quote that has always been one of my favorites:
“With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”
I forget who said it though lol