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Archive for December, 2008

End of the Year

Holy Mother,
In whom we live, move, and have our being,
from You all things emerge
and unto you, all things return.*

A lot of people see the new year as a clean slate – a chance to start over. This year, I’m choosing not to see it that way.

Midnight will come and go. My problems will not depart.

2008 will end. My complexes and addictions will persist.

2009 will begin. My past will remain intact.

People all over this time zone will shout “Happy New Year!” with joy. My transgressions will not dissipate.

Everything I have done will remain in the Earth’s long memory. Everything I’ve experienced will still have shaped who I’ve become.

This is not a clean slate, no. But it a new opportunity. It is a new chance to take what I have and to make it clean. One more chance to put my house in order.

Everything that has hurt, everything that has healed, all that has brought me sorrow and all that has brought me joy… they will all make the transition with me. Now is a chance to take the painful lessons and compost them, to use them to help grow my next year with each of them as a solid reminder of who I was, who I am, and who I am becoming.

This is not starting over. This is something better.

This is the beginning of setting things right.

*Holy Mother prayer by Victor Anderson

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